Santa Claus LLC Challenged by Nuclear Proliferation and Threats From Iran

The Santa Clause Factory may have to close its doors after 90 years. It turns out they can no longer get insurance for their facilities. The missile defense shield has been cancelled and Iran's President has threatened to "blow Christmas off the map." Unfortunately, "Christmas is right here, this is where it all starts, we make toys here 10-months out of the year for the big day, and we are also contracted to do Hanukkah now and that means December is a big business month."

As you might recall last year Santa Claus LLC beat out both FED EX Home Delivery and UPS for the Hanukkah contract, which is worth $310 of millions and it covers some 8.5% of the World's Children. FED EX lost the bid due to a dispute with the IRS over the "independent contractor" or employee issue (that case was reversed, but Santa Corp has the contract. As you know all of Santa's elves and rain deer are actual employees of the company. UPS failed to meet the contract because the Unions would not work holidays without triple overtime pay.

Both FED EX and UPS have since raised prices, and both have posted some of the largest corporate losses on record in the last year. "It's been a tough year on us as well," said Mrs. Claus the comptroller and official board member;

"This year none of us have taken corporate bonuses, and we can't operate without our insurance. "AIG the company's previous insurer was under government scrutiny, and the Geiko gecko salesman didn't even want to come up here to talk to us; "It's too cold up there for me," and so they are without insurance."

All this due to unresolved diplomatic talks on Iran's nuclear weapons and uranium enrichment facility, so Santa offered to pick up the already enriched uranium and deliver it to Russia, so it could be stored and used only for peaceful nuclear power generation, but the IAEA, said they can't find it, and Iran continues to make threats. Meanwhile, the Obama Administration would not return Mrs. Claus phone call because Mr. Obama was busy doing a late night talk show interview to boost his slipping poll ratings.

There will be no Christmas this year.

Lance Winslow is a retired Founder of a Nationwide Franchise Chain, and now runs the Online Think Tank. Lance Winslow believes in Santa Corp.

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